I just need to make a list to prevent a panic attack from coming on.
1. the fact that i have to retake exams and a practical that i studied hard to pass the first time around.
2. being scared i wont pass the retakes since i studied just as hard and didn't pass them the first time around.
3. classmate got a job I interviewed for and nobody bothered to even let me know they had gone with "someone else"
4. the only offer I've gotten is half way across the country.
5. it feels like everyone has gotten at least one offer where they want to work at/in.
6. everyone is celebrating saying they'll be done aug. 14 and i won't be. i have another whole month left.
7. people have gotten 2 or 3 offers and I've had 4 interviews and have only gotten 1 offer.
Ok now that I got that out and cried over it. On to the positives.
1. My Yale interview went really well and theres a big chance they might make me an offer for the ED.
2. I have a loving, understanding, HOT, and fun boyfriend who cooks for me bcuz I don't have enough time to and has enough money saved to cover me for when I move, do not have an income until credentialing goes through, and to pay for the PANCE. No he's never been married nor does he have any kids. Yes, he is a God send after 2 years of hell.
3. I sold my tv stand this morning. It's one piece of furniture off my hands to make the move easy. And I made $15.
4. I've sold 6 books on amazon.com and made $170 which allowed me to have enough to cover rent + utilities for August.
5. I've lost 11 pounds since I turned 25. I'm 4 pounds away from my goal for graduation. Ultimate goal is to lose another 15 pounds after that so that I will be at the healthy and ideal weight for my height and ethnicity.
6. Took a 21 question exam on the pediatric cardiovascular system and didn't do as bad as I thought I would. Meaning, studying for these 3 exams on friday isn't impossible. I told myself that all I can do is work hard study hard, perform well while I'm taking the exams (as far as controlling text-anxiety, etc) and thats the most that could be expected of Liz Ortiz. ya know?
*sigh* So the positives make me feel better. I need to forget about the people around me. Ignore them. I graduate a month later because I took a month off while everyone was still working their ass off. This is only fair. Regardless, this is my life and I make of it what I want. I am the main character, this story is about me. God has given me gifts and strengths and I was born with/developed weaknesses. But that is life. So live it, liz.
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2 comments:
Wait. There are right weights based on ethnicity. Explain please.
Don't stress. One day at a time. It'll all work out. :)
I guess I mean ideal weight based on genetics. For my height the ideal weight is said to be 118-125. My muscle mass has always been thicker (my puertorican ass and jacked arms) so that is gonna automatically bring the number on the scale higher than our caucasian colleagues. If I went down to 118, I would look like a fricken pole. I want my ass to still have it's puertorican look and my arms to be defined so that brings us to a healthy 130. The last time I was this weight I was 19 and I looked and felt pretty {ideal} ;-) I guess the lowest I'd go is 125. (the last time I was that weight i was 13 and I remember thinking I was still over weight because i didn't look like my stick figure caucasian classmates - as I was the only puertorican girl in the school). I don't remember what I looked like tho, so I might check it out. Does this make sense?
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