Oh snap, forgot to let y'all know: no longer looking for a job cuz this lil lady GOT THE JOB!! (The one i was talking bout in my last post) I have been hired as their new Emergency Room PA. Boo ya. And the offer was very nice - yay money cuz i'm so poor and a MILLION dollars in debt.
Now back to packing - I move tomorrow!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Sunday, August 15, 2010
The first ending
I passed the practical with an 85 (well over the 65 I was aiming for!). And I graduated yesterday. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! :) I'm ECSTATIC.
I never thought I'd get here. The last couple of days have just been amazing. I got to see my parents since they moved to California. And living the day without the stress of feeling like I should be studying - feels amazing.
I do have a clinical rotation to do for 4 weeks (Aug 30 - Sept 24), a 5pg paper and an 50 question exam, but I am so not worried about those things. The worst is over. I completed and passed the hardest 2 years of PA school. The biggest challenge is to pass the boards (aka PANCE) which I plan on taking early-mid October. And then I will be a certified Physician Assistant. *does a lil dance*
Oh, and I also need to get a job. Although I've been applying and interviewing like crazy and some employers say oh yeah you're my favorite you're totally in...I still have not heard from them. So. on to the next one.
I'm currently sitting at starbucks, not studying, catching up on fb, twitter, blogs, etc. It feels so good.
So this is my update for now. Hey, maybe I'll post twice in one day (gasp). Later ;-)
I never thought I'd get here. The last couple of days have just been amazing. I got to see my parents since they moved to California. And living the day without the stress of feeling like I should be studying - feels amazing.
I do have a clinical rotation to do for 4 weeks (Aug 30 - Sept 24), a 5pg paper and an 50 question exam, but I am so not worried about those things. The worst is over. I completed and passed the hardest 2 years of PA school. The biggest challenge is to pass the boards (aka PANCE) which I plan on taking early-mid October. And then I will be a certified Physician Assistant. *does a lil dance*
Oh, and I also need to get a job. Although I've been applying and interviewing like crazy and some employers say oh yeah you're my favorite you're totally in...I still have not heard from them. So. on to the next one.
I'm currently sitting at starbucks, not studying, catching up on fb, twitter, blogs, etc. It feels so good.
So this is my update for now. Hey, maybe I'll post twice in one day (gasp). Later ;-)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Aaaahhhhh
I passed the 3 exams I took last friday.
The practical is tomorrow. Studying with a fellow student tonight cuz we're gonna kiss ass.
Banquet (aka PA school PROM) tomorrow night. Getting my hair and nails did cuz I didn't for my senior prom (boo but yaaaaay). The manfriend is going and he's a shirt and tie that matches my dress. i'll try and show a picture of it. if not, i'll just post a picture of me in it from the banquet in a later post ;-)
1 assignment stands between me and graduation. [that does not include the rotation I have to do in september and the paper and test i have to take after that but STILL this is SOMETHING!]
k laterz
The practical is tomorrow. Studying with a fellow student tonight cuz we're gonna kiss ass.
Banquet (aka PA school PROM) tomorrow night. Getting my hair and nails did cuz I didn't for my senior prom (boo but yaaaaay). The manfriend is going and he's a shirt and tie that matches my dress. i'll try and show a picture of it. if not, i'll just post a picture of me in it from the banquet in a later post ;-)
1 assignment stands between me and graduation. [that does not include the rotation I have to do in september and the paper and test i have to take after that but STILL this is SOMETHING!]
k laterz
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Do not feel defeated
I haven't heard back about the exams I took friday. But. After alternating between panic attacks and serenity this weekend, I've come to this conclusion:
Don't give up, you've come too far.
That's for me, regardless of what happens. And hopefully you can use that too.
good night. <3
Don't give up, you've come too far.
That's for me, regardless of what happens. And hopefully you can use that too.
good night. <3
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wasted wednesday
K fine, so I didn't write yesterday. Ima write TWICE today to make up for it :-P
Yesterday was a busy busy day. Putting together and mailing a bff's birthday package. Prepping for the presentation my group had to give. Let me just say I didn't start studying until after dinner at 9pm. I studied for a couple of hours while drinking beer with the manfriend (well he had Guinness) and then got into an intense discussion bout an insecurity I've had for sometime (1. i pick the worst times to bring stuff up. 2. that is a story for another post 3. i realize now maybe the drinking had something to do with it...), he went home, i called him, had it out on the phone for 30 minutes, made up, and then I laid in bed for an hour unable to fall asleep. I've been having difficulty falling asleep lately. I'm sure it's because I'm stressed...because I have a lot of things to do and not enough time to do it. It would make sense that my body would try and keep me up so I could "get it all done". Silly body. Stop it, thank you.
So i'm bummed about yesterday. Because I only had to be at school for about an hour in a half, prep for it for another hour in a half, and I still, ALL DAY, got only 2 hours of studying done.
So if you're the judge, based on the fact that I wasted my Wednesday and only studied for 2 hours, 2 days before the exams, you could fail me solely based on that fact.
So now Ima sit in class and go over questions. Class 9am-4pm. Shoot me. lataaahs
Yesterday was a busy busy day. Putting together and mailing a bff's birthday package. Prepping for the presentation my group had to give. Let me just say I didn't start studying until after dinner at 9pm. I studied for a couple of hours while drinking beer with the manfriend (well he had Guinness) and then got into an intense discussion bout an insecurity I've had for sometime (1. i pick the worst times to bring stuff up. 2. that is a story for another post 3. i realize now maybe the drinking had something to do with it...), he went home, i called him, had it out on the phone for 30 minutes, made up, and then I laid in bed for an hour unable to fall asleep. I've been having difficulty falling asleep lately. I'm sure it's because I'm stressed...because I have a lot of things to do and not enough time to do it. It would make sense that my body would try and keep me up so I could "get it all done". Silly body. Stop it, thank you.
So i'm bummed about yesterday. Because I only had to be at school for about an hour in a half, prep for it for another hour in a half, and I still, ALL DAY, got only 2 hours of studying done.
So if you're the judge, based on the fact that I wasted my Wednesday and only studied for 2 hours, 2 days before the exams, you could fail me solely based on that fact.
So now Ima sit in class and go over questions. Class 9am-4pm. Shoot me. lataaahs
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Guardian Angel
To be honest, I've been freaking out the last 2 days. Thinking while I've been sleeping. Yah, that bad.
Deep down I had been feeling like I was just gonna fail these exams and the practical. I studied hard for exams and the practical and failed them anyway. I'm so used to getting that email saying,
"Liz,
Unfortunately you failed the Ass component of the comp with a 32.6%. blah blah blah blah remediate on Thursday, August 7, 2036. blah blah blah study harder blah blah blah you suck blah blah blah your children suck blah blah blah your grandchildren suck blah blah blah.
God Bless,
Satan."
This is an issue because - do not underestimate the power of positive and/or negative thinking. I have to be positive in order to pass this stuff. I just know it. And that positivity was so not there.
I decided to stop by my advisor's office. This lady has just been a God send during PA school. Has always believed in me, shows favoritism towards me, special treatment - always stood up for me during every single ASP meeting (total of 5 meetings, thats a lot). While everyone was saying Liz maybe you're not cut out for PA school, you're gonna be a shitty PA - this prof was there saying Liz has shown me she has the knowledge and the heart to do it and she's put forth the effort to do well. "I believe in you Liz, you know this stuff, stop doubting yourself and getting nervous during the exams and practical and just get it done. You can do this, I believe in you." It is literally this lady that helped me pull A's out of my ass all the last month of the spring semester of the first year to be able to go on to the second year.
So I sat in her office. Just said, "I was wondering if you could go over with me what I did wrong during the practical to kind of help steer my studying for it?" And this lady pulled out my practical packet, and my grade for each station, wrote down what stations I did worst in and told me what I missed. An hour prior to this interaction, a classmate of mine had just finished bitching about her because she went up there to ask her for some pointers and all she gave her was "Look at such and such a book and you'll be fine". But there she was, took a whole 20 minutes of her time to go over this stuff with me. And let me tell you people - thats exactly what I needed. For ONE faculty member of that stupid program to show an ounce of heart to redeem them in my eyes, to show me that what I was doing was because of a DECENT group of people. Not cuz they're assholes toying with me like a marionette! It is common knowledge that they hate our class; a few people are disrespectful and they generalize the image to us all and treat us like shit. Ask any one of us - we'll tell you.
So. I got my positivity back. :) I sat there as she quizzed me on what I had missed and I clearly knew all of it - stupid nerves! It was good to hear myself answer her questions [correctly]. I showed myself that I do know this stuff. I can do this. Believe in yourself, you got this.
Now, pray for me. hehe.
Deep down I had been feeling like I was just gonna fail these exams and the practical. I studied hard for exams and the practical and failed them anyway. I'm so used to getting that email saying,
"Liz,
Unfortunately you failed the Ass component of the comp with a 32.6%. blah blah blah blah remediate on Thursday, August 7, 2036. blah blah blah study harder blah blah blah you suck blah blah blah your children suck blah blah blah your grandchildren suck blah blah blah.
God Bless,
Satan."
This is an issue because - do not underestimate the power of positive and/or negative thinking. I have to be positive in order to pass this stuff. I just know it. And that positivity was so not there.
I decided to stop by my advisor's office. This lady has just been a God send during PA school. Has always believed in me, shows favoritism towards me, special treatment - always stood up for me during every single ASP meeting (total of 5 meetings, thats a lot). While everyone was saying Liz maybe you're not cut out for PA school, you're gonna be a shitty PA - this prof was there saying Liz has shown me she has the knowledge and the heart to do it and she's put forth the effort to do well. "I believe in you Liz, you know this stuff, stop doubting yourself and getting nervous during the exams and practical and just get it done. You can do this, I believe in you." It is literally this lady that helped me pull A's out of my ass all the last month of the spring semester of the first year to be able to go on to the second year.
So I sat in her office. Just said, "I was wondering if you could go over with me what I did wrong during the practical to kind of help steer my studying for it?" And this lady pulled out my practical packet, and my grade for each station, wrote down what stations I did worst in and told me what I missed. An hour prior to this interaction, a classmate of mine had just finished bitching about her because she went up there to ask her for some pointers and all she gave her was "Look at such and such a book and you'll be fine". But there she was, took a whole 20 minutes of her time to go over this stuff with me. And let me tell you people - thats exactly what I needed. For ONE faculty member of that stupid program to show an ounce of heart to redeem them in my eyes, to show me that what I was doing was because of a DECENT group of people. Not cuz they're assholes toying with me like a marionette! It is common knowledge that they hate our class; a few people are disrespectful and they generalize the image to us all and treat us like shit. Ask any one of us - we'll tell you.
So. I got my positivity back. :) I sat there as she quizzed me on what I had missed and I clearly knew all of it - stupid nerves! It was good to hear myself answer her questions [correctly]. I showed myself that I do know this stuff. I can do this. Believe in yourself, you got this.
Now, pray for me. hehe.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Panic
I just need to make a list to prevent a panic attack from coming on.
1. the fact that i have to retake exams and a practical that i studied hard to pass the first time around.
2. being scared i wont pass the retakes since i studied just as hard and didn't pass them the first time around.
3. classmate got a job I interviewed for and nobody bothered to even let me know they had gone with "someone else"
4. the only offer I've gotten is half way across the country.
5. it feels like everyone has gotten at least one offer where they want to work at/in.
6. everyone is celebrating saying they'll be done aug. 14 and i won't be. i have another whole month left.
7. people have gotten 2 or 3 offers and I've had 4 interviews and have only gotten 1 offer.
Ok now that I got that out and cried over it. On to the positives.
1. My Yale interview went really well and theres a big chance they might make me an offer for the ED.
2. I have a loving, understanding, HOT, and fun boyfriend who cooks for me bcuz I don't have enough time to and has enough money saved to cover me for when I move, do not have an income until credentialing goes through, and to pay for the PANCE. No he's never been married nor does he have any kids. Yes, he is a God send after 2 years of hell.
3. I sold my tv stand this morning. It's one piece of furniture off my hands to make the move easy. And I made $15.
4. I've sold 6 books on amazon.com and made $170 which allowed me to have enough to cover rent + utilities for August.
5. I've lost 11 pounds since I turned 25. I'm 4 pounds away from my goal for graduation. Ultimate goal is to lose another 15 pounds after that so that I will be at the healthy and ideal weight for my height and ethnicity.
6. Took a 21 question exam on the pediatric cardiovascular system and didn't do as bad as I thought I would. Meaning, studying for these 3 exams on friday isn't impossible. I told myself that all I can do is work hard study hard, perform well while I'm taking the exams (as far as controlling text-anxiety, etc) and thats the most that could be expected of Liz Ortiz. ya know?
*sigh* So the positives make me feel better. I need to forget about the people around me. Ignore them. I graduate a month later because I took a month off while everyone was still working their ass off. This is only fair. Regardless, this is my life and I make of it what I want. I am the main character, this story is about me. God has given me gifts and strengths and I was born with/developed weaknesses. But that is life. So live it, liz.
1. the fact that i have to retake exams and a practical that i studied hard to pass the first time around.
2. being scared i wont pass the retakes since i studied just as hard and didn't pass them the first time around.
3. classmate got a job I interviewed for and nobody bothered to even let me know they had gone with "someone else"
4. the only offer I've gotten is half way across the country.
5. it feels like everyone has gotten at least one offer where they want to work at/in.
6. everyone is celebrating saying they'll be done aug. 14 and i won't be. i have another whole month left.
7. people have gotten 2 or 3 offers and I've had 4 interviews and have only gotten 1 offer.
Ok now that I got that out and cried over it. On to the positives.
1. My Yale interview went really well and theres a big chance they might make me an offer for the ED.
2. I have a loving, understanding, HOT, and fun boyfriend who cooks for me bcuz I don't have enough time to and has enough money saved to cover me for when I move, do not have an income until credentialing goes through, and to pay for the PANCE. No he's never been married nor does he have any kids. Yes, he is a God send after 2 years of hell.
3. I sold my tv stand this morning. It's one piece of furniture off my hands to make the move easy. And I made $15.
4. I've sold 6 books on amazon.com and made $170 which allowed me to have enough to cover rent + utilities for August.
5. I've lost 11 pounds since I turned 25. I'm 4 pounds away from my goal for graduation. Ultimate goal is to lose another 15 pounds after that so that I will be at the healthy and ideal weight for my height and ethnicity.
6. Took a 21 question exam on the pediatric cardiovascular system and didn't do as bad as I thought I would. Meaning, studying for these 3 exams on friday isn't impossible. I told myself that all I can do is work hard study hard, perform well while I'm taking the exams (as far as controlling text-anxiety, etc) and thats the most that could be expected of Liz Ortiz. ya know?
*sigh* So the positives make me feel better. I need to forget about the people around me. Ignore them. I graduate a month later because I took a month off while everyone was still working their ass off. This is only fair. Regardless, this is my life and I make of it what I want. I am the main character, this story is about me. God has given me gifts and strengths and I was born with/developed weaknesses. But that is life. So live it, liz.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Countdown begins
I'm seriously considering making one of those chains out of construction paper that kids make in school when they're counting down to Christmas or something. If I do it, I promise I'll post a picture.
So the white coat ceremony is August 14th.
Practical August 12th.
3 exams August 6th.
The nasty part of it will end August 14th. THEN, I just have a 4 week rotation (because of the "vacation" I took in March/April). A 5pg paper and exam at the end of that.
The official end ladies and gentlemen is:
SEPTEMBER 24th
So, that means 2 construction paper chains. :o) As I am counting down to 2 things. Well, that's not counting the date when I'm taking the national exam, the PANCE, but the date for that hasn't been decided by mua and is a story for another post another day.
God willing everything go right on the exams, the practical, and the paper - September 24th WILL be the end of PA school my friends. Can you believe it?? I sure can't.
Work hard, Liz, work hard. Until then, I will be a hermit. Just so you know. But, I'm going to write in here everyday to keep myself sane.
So the white coat ceremony is August 14th.
Practical August 12th.
3 exams August 6th.
The nasty part of it will end August 14th. THEN, I just have a 4 week rotation (because of the "vacation" I took in March/April). A 5pg paper and exam at the end of that.
The official end ladies and gentlemen is:
SEPTEMBER 24th
So, that means 2 construction paper chains. :o) As I am counting down to 2 things. Well, that's not counting the date when I'm taking the national exam, the PANCE, but the date for that hasn't been decided by mua and is a story for another post another day.
God willing everything go right on the exams, the practical, and the paper - September 24th WILL be the end of PA school my friends. Can you believe it?? I sure can't.
Work hard, Liz, work hard. Until then, I will be a hermit. Just so you know. But, I'm going to write in here everyday to keep myself sane.
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